If you’ve been following us with these Predator trailers you know my enthusiasm for this has grown from luke-warm to downright freezing. This…looks really bad.

The lame jokes. The uber Predators. Just…no.

Maybe this final trailer will turn it all around for me. Imbue me with optimistic light. Make me give a darn.

…let’s take a look.

“We took a vote. Predator is cooler.”

I think the quote says it all. Shane Black is too busy trying to be hip, cool, and snarky he’s completely losing any real sense of menace. Hero Theory is so lost from this outing that it’s not even funny. In the two good Predator movies you had two individuals who were put to the ultimate test of survival against a relentless foe that had them at a technological disadvantage. Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny Glover’s characters were only able to survive by tapping deep into all the available gifts their species gave them. Perseverance. Endurance. Will. Ingenuity. They were tested to the limit and beyond and came out ahead in a primal roar of triumph for the homo sapien.

Credits to their species.

What we have here looks to simply be a bunch of ying-yangs cracking jokes as they duck and dodge hokey CGI opponents.  I could be wrong. Maybe there’s some hidden meat in the third act of this film. I don’t know…I won’t find out until it hits streaming sometime next year.

The Predator starring Boyd Holbrook, Trevante Rhodes, Jacob Tremblay, Keegan-Michael Key, Olivia Munn, Sterling K. Brown, Alfie Allen, Thomas Jane, Augusto Aguilera, and Yvonne Strahovski opens in theaters September 14.